Virtue: A Knight World Novel (Fireborn Wolves Book 2) Page 12

  “Like who?”

  “Silas… and Laina.”

  Jason rolled his eyes.

  “The pack. All the people whose businesses you invest in.”

  “Silas is more alpha than any pack needs, including ours. And you don’t need light in your soul to make a good investment.”

  “Me.” Selene’s gaze lifted to his. “I need you.” Her voice was as brittle as a dried bone.

  He licked his lips. “Yeah. You need me to get better so you can be promoted to priestess.” He snorted derisively.

  “No. That’s not it.” Selene’s voice was laden with emotion as if she were on the verge of tears.

  “Then why?”

  “Because… because…” She shook her head.

  He began to turn, to walk away. Her hand landed on his. Selene guided one hand around her waist and his other into her upturned grip. Jason didn’t fight her as she pulled him into her chest.

  “Selene, what are you doing?”

  Without answering, she began to sway. It took a moment for him to take the lead, for her movement to stop battling his stillness, but soon their bodies moved as one. He rocked back and forth, turning her as they crossed the floor, and never breaking eye contact. He tried not to think about the fact she was an acolyte and his spiritual advisor or that everything that was happening fell well within the bounds of “inappropriate.” He was greedy and the tiny slice of happiness Selene was offering was not something he was willing to turn away.

  He held her closer, his face a breath away from hers, and then, without warning, spun her away from his chest, across the kitchen, and back into his arms, dipping her in front of the stove. She giggled, her laugh ringing through him like a bell and lifting two tons of weight from his heart.

  “You’re stunning,” he whispered in her ear as if it were a secret. “Do you know you could have any man you ever wanted with a wink of your eye?”

  “Don’t be silly,” she said breathlessly. “I’ve never been beautiful.”

  “Oh, sweet girl, you’re wrong about that, and if you were mine you’d never forget it.”

  She met his eyes, her lip tucking between her teeth in a gesture that made her look younger than she was. He stood her on her own two feet, realizing his wolf’s interest in her had grown to unsafe levels for both of them. As much as he wanted her, as much as he longed to have her goodness in his life permanently, he needed to accept that she was here in a professional capacity only. She might remain friendly with him when all was said and done, but she’d never be his. Not really.

  But then why wasn’t she moving away from his open arms?

  A chill came over Selene’s body as Jason set her on her feet and opened his arms, the absence of his touch like the loss of heat after the setting sun. His green eyes darkened, a storm gathering in his thoughts, the irises tinged with amber. In that moment, she was not an acolyte or a spiritual therapist, she was just a woman whose entire being wanted to be back in those arms, wanted to feel precious again, wanted a taste of something she’d never had before, never would have again.

  She stepped into his space and rose up on her tiptoes, her arms snaking around his neck. His breath quickened with his pulse, his hands spreading wider as if he were afraid to touch her, and his face, oh goddess, his face was a mask of torment. Ignoring the alarms going off in her head, she planted a kiss on his lips. She’d never kissed a man like this. Sure she’d had a mouth forced upon hers. She’d been kissed. But she’d never done the kissing. And certainly a kiss had never felt like this one. Soft, warm, gentle, searching. Her mind blanked, wrapped up in all the emotions and raw feelings that came with her wanton exploration.

  But the kiss was one sided, his body stiff, his lips accepting but tentative. Until, quite suddenly, the wall she’d been pressing against, the invisible thing holding him back, shattered. His arms wrapped around her ribs and swept her away, the storm she’d seen gathering in his eyes swirling around her. The full force of his masculinity beat against her lips, blew across her skin, and doused her body in a deluge of heat. His hands were in her hair, on her waist.

  And he was inside her mouth, stroking her tongue with his own in a way that set her on fire. His body pressed against hers, ushering her toward the sofa. When she bumped into its rounded back, he lifted her, hoisting her dress so he could slide between her knees.

  Was this really happening? His body held a coiled tension she instinctively knew she could release. If she didn’t know better, she’d say it was magic, this force driving them toward each other. She wrapped her arms tighter around his neck, drawing him closer until she could feel the hard length of him pressed against her.

  Jason pulled back, panting and groaning as if he were in pain. “No. No, we can’t.”

  Selene shook her head. “This is right. It’s all right.” Something in the back of her mind knew she was wrong, but she didn’t want to think about it. Not now. Not yet. She wanted to stay in the storm, feel the rain drench her face, get swept away by the wind and the lightning without a thought to the consequences.

  “You’d regret it. It would mean the end of your acolyte status. And as much as I want you, and oh, by the goddess I want you, I can’t do that to you. I can’t take your virtue when I know you’d never do this if I hadn’t been such a shit to you and drawn you into my web.”

  “Drew me in? I wasn’t drawn in. I have feelings for you—”

  “You’re sweet and naive. You don’t see it. I’m a predator. I have a power over women. It’s not your fault. Without even realizing it, I seduced you. You’d never do this if I hadn’t. You’d never risk your future.” He backed away, his hands coming to rest on his knees, the physical hardship of holding back the desires of his wolf evident on his face.

  Selene’s eyes widened and she looked out the glass doors to the balcony, to the moon that hung in the night sky. “I’m so sorry, Jason. I’m a fool.”

  “It’s not you.”

  “No. The shift is tomorrow night. I’ve tempted you at your most vulnerable.”

  He took a step back, still hunched over, and clutched his middle.

  “Are you in pain?”

  “Go into your room and lock the door,” he said.

  “What? Jason, no. Let’s talk about this.”

  He raised his eyes to hers and all she saw was the animal, the intense need turning his eyes from green to the amber of his wolf’s. She hopped down from the back of the couch.

  “Go,” he said, a deep growl emanating from his chest.

  She did, running into her room and locking the door. She heard him pacing on the other side for some time, the slam of what she assumed was the cookie sheet against the counter, the whine of the front door opening, and his groans as Silas’s command kept him from leaving.

  Eventually, after what seemed like hours of painful pacing, his bedroom door slammed and she heard his shower turn on.

  Selene fell back onto her bed, wondering at the ache in her body that accompanied her thoughts of Jason. She ran her fingers down her neck, between her breasts, over the cotton bodice of her dress, and up along her inner thigh. She stopped at the lace edge of her briefs. Was a vice catching? Because right now, all Selene could think of, although she knew it was wrong and self-destructive, was how she didn’t regret kissing Jason.

  If anything, she regretted stopping.

  Chapter 18

  “You finished the cookies,” Selene said, setting down the brown plaid suitcase she’d been holding. Sun streamed in through the east-facing windows, but it did nothing to warm her.

  Jason gave her an exhausted smile before his eyes locked on her bag. “What’s with the suitcase?”

  “I think you proved last night that you don’t need me anymore. You have full control over your vice. Tonight is the shift. If you can deny yourself so close to the full moon, there’s nothing left for me to teach you.”

  “Oh, I’m not sure about that,” he murmured.

  She shook her head and looked at th
e floor.

  “For one, I need someone to show me how to make the cookies you made last night. I’ve never baked anything like that. And someone to hold my hand when I feel sick like you did. Someone to remind me of happy memories. Someone to fill this place with joy and light like you have.” He stood and approached her.

  “I suspect you’ll have no trouble finding a woman to do all those things. And when the time is right and Nickelova is dead, you can build a life with her.”

  “But she won’t be you.”

  “She can’t be me.” Selene swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. “No matter how badly I want that.”

  Jason took another step toward her, his hands spread as if approaching a skittish animal. “You want this too?” He searched her face. “Then why are you leaving?”

  “You don’t want me, Jason. It’s natural for a man like you to attach to a caregiver. But once you’re back out in the world, you’ll realize I’m nothing special. I’m no one, just an orphan living among your pack. And my feelings for you, there’s no way to separate them from what happened here.”

  “You’re wrong—”

  “My work here is done. If I stay now, I’d only be fostering a dependence we’d both have to break.”

  He shook his head. “No. That’s not what this is. You know that’s not what this is.”

  “I give you permission to leave. You’re free. You’ve graduated from my care. I’ll let Silas know and I’ll see you at Rivergate for the shift tonight.” She lifted her bag and headed for the door.

  “Selene?”

  She paused, turning back to him.

  “Thank you. I’d be dead if it wasn’t for you. I’ll never forget that.”

  With a soft smile and a nod, she said, “In some ways, I could say the same.” She slipped out the door and left Jason standing in his foyer.

  Selene returned to the monastery feeling numb. She was doing the right thing. Of course she was. The feelings she’d felt for Jason were a natural extension of the therapy she’d administered. Therapists of all kinds were at risk of falling in love with their patients. She’d seen his darkest parts and his happiest memories. She’d shared things about herself she’d never shared with anyone. In time, she’d get on with her real life and those memories would shed like an old snakeskin to some recess of her mind.

  When that happened, when she started to forget how happy she was with Jason, how even when he was sick or angry or nearly dead his smile had lit up her soul. When those memories dulled, the pain in her chest would stop, and she’d be thankful she was strong today. A person needed to be logical about these things. Love and sex and loneliness were tricky, all mashed up with one another. Time and distance would sort it out.

  She rocked backward to fling her suitcase onto the bed, her long skirt catching on the corner. She smoothed the material down, then unzipped her bag to start unpacking. She’d had the plaid brown monstrosity since she was a kid. It had served her well. But maybe this time, it would stay unpacked.

  “Welcome back,” Artemis said from behind her. “I thought I saw you coming through the gate.”

  Selene smiled. “It’s good to be home again.” She accepted Artemis’s embrace.

  “I assume your return is a positive sign. Was your mission effective?”

  “Jason has complete control over his vice. I am confident he has been successfully rehabilitated.”

  “Hmm.” Artemis nodded. “I knew you were the right choice for this assignment. Congratulations. A novice acolyte could not have performed the deep spiritual cleansing you did.”

  Eyes focused on the folded clothes within her suitcase, Selene hummed affirmatively.

  “Why do I sense unhappiness within you?”

  “Artemis, I have to tell you something. I… made a mistake last night. Or maybe you might call it an accident. There was an accident.”

  The older woman steadied Selene’s trembling hands with her own.

  “What happened, child? This is a safe place. You can tell me anything.”

  “We kissed. Jason and I kissed. I kissed him.” The words bubbled out of her, extricating themselves and flooding her with relief.

  Artemis’s eyes widened, although her face remained impassive. “Go on.”

  “I was trying to jog his happiest memory. I got too close. We were dancing, and I kissed him. He stopped the kiss, thank the goddess. But it happened.”

  “How did you feel about the kiss?”

  Selene’s cheeks warmed. She wasn’t expecting Artemis to ask her that question. She placed a cool hand to her cheek. “It was pleasant and shocking. Afterward, I knew it was wrong but when it was happening it felt like jumping over a waterfall. Exhilarating. Weightless. Almost as if I couldn’t stop it if I tried.”

  “With an inevitable crash waiting for you at the bottom.” Artemis laughed.

  “Can you forgive me?” Selene pressed a hand to her chest.

  Artemis started. “Forgive you? Whatever for?”

  “Men are off-limits to our order.”

  She tipped her curly gray head. “The encounter ended after the kiss?”

  “Yes. But in full disclosure, it was quite passionate.”

  “Do you know why we remain celibate here?”

  “In honor of the goddess. Our virtue is an offering to her and in exchange, she gives us power.”

  Artemis nodded. “Your encounter went too far. You kissed. But you are here and your virtue is intact.” She spread her hands. “It is understandable that the experience was confusing to you, but the fact that you told me about it immediately speaks boldly of your character. I am not concerned at all about this incident. You are a very talented spiritual leader, Selene. Add this experience to the many things to come that will help you grow in your faith and abilities.”

  Selene nodded. “Oh, thank you, Preotka.” She turned back to her bag feeling light as air. “I should unpack.”

  “Unless…” Artemis folded her long, graceful arms over her cardigan and narrowed her eyes on Selene.

  Selene blinked at her mentor.

  “Love is a rare and powerful gift from the goddess. If you genuinely have feelings for Jason, and he returns those feelings, perhaps it is a sign from above that there is a more important role for you in this life than priestess.”

  Selene gave a breathy laugh. “What could be more important than priestess?”

  Artemis didn’t miss a beat. “Devoted wife, loving mother, conscientious princess, practitioner of true love. My dear Selene, if you have been blessed with love, do not allow it to slip through your fingers.”

  “But how would I know? I know nothing of love.” Selene bit her lip. “Artemis, have you ever… been in love?”

  Artemis shook her head. “Only with the pack.”

  Selene dropped her arms to her sides in frustration and stared at her feet. “This is silly. It was only a kiss. Nothing more.”

  With a knowing smile, Artemis nodded. “I thought so. But if you do decide it’s something more, remember this isn’t a prison. You can leave if you want to.”

  Selene lifted a stack of clothes from her bag and laid them out on the bed. “But there’s no coming back,” she said.

  Artemis cleared her throat. “No. There’s no coming back.”

  Chapter 19

  Jason’s thoughts refused to stay in the present as he wandered through the garden at Rivergate Manor under a canopy of silvery sunset and slowly emerging stars. He’d tried to stop thinking about Selene and to focus on his business, which was sorely in need of his attention. But he’d failed miserably. His scout, Andrew, informed him that the Spackles deal was officially dead because of his neglect. But as much as he would have liked to return to business as usual, his mind bounced right back to Selene.

  It wasn’t just his wolf’s innate desire to mark her as his own, although that part was surely there. His heart ached for her. He’d spent the day pacing an empty apartment, remembering how full it felt with her in it. Like a rea
l home.

  “Welcome back, brother.” Silas broke into Jason’s thoughts with a pat on his shoulder as he sidled up next to him. “Selene gave me a glowing review of your willpower and constraint this morning.”

  Jason adjusted his watch on his wrist, remembering how little restraint he’d shown when he was shoving his tongue down her throat the night before. “It’s good to be back,” he said mechanically.

  “You’ve certainly put on some weight. Jesus, you’re going to pop a button with all the muscle going on under there.”

  “Funny how a few weeks locked in one’s home revives their love of physical activity.” Based on his brother’s expression, the note of bitterness in his words wasn’t lost on Silas.

  “It was necessary. I know it wasn’t easy, but now you’re ready to face Nickelova if she comes for you. That’s what’s important.”

  “So, when can we try to find her and kill her?”

  “After the shift. I’ve rounded up three wolves, all with military experience. Gerty has agreed to go too. Grateful can’t leave her son but has promised to provide magical protection in the form of potions and spells. Do you think you can remember where to go?”

  He nodded. “I remember.” Jason couldn’t wait to destroy the dragon fae who had started all this, made him suffer, only to find true happiness with Selene and experience true suffering all over again when she left. He wanted the dragon bitch to die slowly, but he’d take her death however he could get it. He hoped he was the one to do it, preferably by crushing her heart between his own two hands.

  They arrived at the tent where the pack was shedding clothes in preparation for the shift.

  “See you on the other side of the moon.” Silas crossed to the opposite side of the tent to strip.

  Jason removed his tailored shirt and pants, toed off his leather loafers, and folded everything in a neat pile in the corner. He left the tent completely naked, his blood bubbling under the surface of his skin. The change was close at hand.